LAB SERIES 01  ·  PARTICIPANT WORKBOOK

An Emotional Agility Study & Implementation Group

Have you ever known exactly what you should do — and still found yourself doing something else? Across four live sessions, we'll use Susan David's Emotional Agility to practice working with difficult thoughts and emotions, reducing avoidance, and making meaningful changes in everyday life.
FOUR LIVE 90-MINUTE SESSIONSDISCUSSION · EXERCISES · REAL-WORLD PRACTICE
THE FOUR MOVEMENTS · OUR SESSION ARC
1
Showing Up — Facing your thoughts and emotions with curiosity and kindness, instead of bottling or brooding  ·  Chapters 1–4
2
Stepping Out — Creating space between you and your thoughts: you are the thinker, not the thought  ·  Chapter 5
3
Walking Your Why — Clarifying your values and letting them steer, even when it's uncomfortable  ·  Chapter 6
4
Moving On — Tiny tweaks and the teeter-totter principle: small shifts, sustained at your growth edge  ·  Chapters 7–8
WHAT TO BRING & EXPECT
A copy of Emotional Agility (any edition) — assigned chapters are read before each session.
A private journal. Several exercises involve writing you will never be asked to share.
Willingness to practice, not perform — this is a lab: we experiment, notice, and report back.
Between sessions: one short home practice, 10–15 minutes total per week.
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabBased on Emotional Agility · Susan David, PhD
SESSION 1 · CHAPTERS 1–4 · 90 MINUTES

Showing Up

Facing your thoughts and emotions willingly — with curiosity and kindness rather than judgment.
OPEN · WELCOME & CHECK-IN15 min
1
Introductions: your name, and one thing you know you should do but keep not doing. Headline version only.
ANCHOR · PASSAGES & DISCUSSION20 min
Passages we'll explore together — follow along in your copy.
① Chapter 2, opening — the “Hollywood hook”: how a thought or feeling lures us in and runs the script  pp. ~17–21
② Chapter 2 — fact, opinion, and judgment: how an observation becomes a story, then a hook  pp. 22–24
③ Chapter 3 — bottling versus brooding, and the white-bear suppression research  pp. ~38–48
④ Chapter 4 — showing up defined: emotions are data, not directives  pp. ~59–61
2
(discussion) Where did you recognize yourself — bottler, brooder, or both? What does your style cost you?
3
(discussion) If emotions are data, what has a recent difficult emotion been trying to tell you?
LAB A · HOOK & STYLE INVENTORY12 min
4
Solo, 5 min. Name one recurring hook — a thought, feeling, or story that reliably grabs you. Then note your default response: bottle, brood, or bounce between the two.
5
Pairs, 7 min. Describe the hook and what it costs you. The listener reflects back only — no fixing, no advice.
My hook, and my default style:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 1 · Showing Up · 1 of 3
SESSION 1 · CONTINUED

The Self-Compassion Labs

Meeting yourself the way you would meet a child who is struggling.
LAB B · MEETING THE CHILD YOU WERE13 min
Lead-in — Chapter 4  pp. 62–63. David's self-compassion practice rests on a simple recognition: the child you once were did not choose their family, circumstances, temperament, or the coping strategies available to them.
6
Quiet visualization, 5 min — eyes closed if comfortable. Picture a hurt or frightened child version of yourself running toward your present-day adult self. Notice your instinct — would you mock or blame them? Now imagine instead receiving, comforting, and protecting that child.
7
(reflection) Why should I treat my adult self with less compassion than I would treat that child?
Self-kindness rating  p. 62 — How consistently do you treat yourself with warmth and support when you struggle or fail?
0
RarelySometimesAlways
10
My rating today: ______
LAB C · EXPRESSIVE WRITING15 min
Lead-in  pp. 78–82. After her father's death, David's teacher asked the class to write what they were feeling and tell the truth. She later built on James Pennebaker's research: writing about emotional experiences — roughly 20 minutes a day for several days, private and uncensored — measurably improves wellbeing. Tonight we use a 10-minute in-session version.
8
Write continuously for 10 minutes about a current difficult experience — thoughts and feelings, not polished prose. Don't worry about grammar or coherence; follow wherever your mind goes. Private; never collected or shared.
9
Debrief the process only, 5 min. What was it like to face it on paper — and did the compassion practice change how you wrote?
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 1 · Showing Up · 2 of 3
SESSION 1 · CLOSING

Integration & Home Practice

Small daily noticings — the lab continues between sessions.
CLOSE · INTEGRATION & HOME PRACTICE15 min
This week's practice.
① Daily, label what you're feeling — then go two words more precise. Not “stressed”: resentful, depleted, apprehensive.
② Notice one hook a day and name it: there's that story again.
③ When self-criticism shows up, ask what you would say to a child — or a close friend — in the same spot.
④ Read Chapter 5 for Session 2.
What I want to remember from tonight:
10
One-word check-out: the most accurate word for what you feel right now.
An open journal with a pencil, a plant, and a mug on a wooden table in soft morning light
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 1 · Showing Up · 3 of 3
SESSION 2 · CHAPTER 5 · 90 MINUTES

Stepping Out

Creating space between you and your thoughts — you are the thinker, not the thought.
OPEN · CHECK-IN15 min
1
Report-backs: What did you notice with daily labeling? Did any hook loosen just from naming it?
ANCHOR · PASSAGES & DISCUSSION15 min
Passages we'll explore together — follow along in your copy.
① Chapter 5 — “I am sad” becomes “I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad”: how language creates distance  pp. 91–92
② Chapter 5 — seeing yourself as the chessboard, not any single piece  pp. ~95–98
2
(discussion) What changes when a feeling becomes something you have instead of something you are?
LAB A · “I'M NOTICING THE THOUGHT THAT…”18 min
3
Write one sticky self-critical thought exactly as it sounds in your head — e.g., I'm going to fail at this.
4
Restate it three ways, aloud to a partner: “I'm having the thought that…” → “I'm noticing I'm having the thought that…” → “I'm noticing I'm having the familiar old thought that…”
5
Debrief: rate the thought's believability before and after.
Believability before (0–10): ______   ·   Believability after (0–10): ______
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 2 · Stepping Out · 1 of 2
SESSION 2 · CONTINUED

The Sticky-Note Mingle

Named fears lose their grip — and everyone has one.
LAB B · THE STICKY-NOTE MINGLE22 min
Lead-in  p. 91. The group exercise David uses in her workshops: write a feared self-label on a sticky note, wear it, and introduce yourself with it — discovering how quickly a named, shared fear loses its authority.
6
Write your biggest fear about yourself on a sticky note — e.g., I'm afraid I'm not enough.
7
Wear it. Mingle and introduce yourself: “Hi, I'm ___, and I'm afraid that ___.”
8
Group debrief: What happened to the fear when it was spoken, worn, and witnessed?
Your pace, always. Participation is invited, never required. If wearing your note feels like too much, place it on the table instead — or simply observe this round.
PRACTICE · SIX WAYS TO STEP OUT10 min
A toolkit from the chapter  pp. 93–94 — try each aloud with your example thought:
① Think process — “I'm bad at speaking” → “I'm learning to speak publicly.”
② Hold contradictions — “I love my family, and I sometimes resent them.”
③ Use humor — find something gently funny, without dismissing real pain.
④ Change perspective — how would a friend, a stranger, or the family dog see this?
⑤ Call it out — “This is a thought. This is my old inadequacy story.”
⑥ Third-person self-talk — use your own name: “What matters to ___ here?”
CLOSE · INTEGRATION & HOME PRACTICE10 min
This week's practice. ① Once daily, catch a difficult thought and apply “I'm noticing the thought that…” ② Try one of the six stepping-out tools each day. ③ Read Chapter 6.
What I want to remember from tonight:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 2 · Stepping Out · 2 of 2
SESSION 3 · CHAPTER 6 · 90 MINUTES

Walking Your Why

Identifying your values and letting them steer — even when it's uncomfortable.
OPEN · CHECK-IN15 min
1
Report-backs: Which stepping-out tool did you try? Where did it help — and where did it not?
ANCHOR · PASSAGES & DISCUSSION15 min
Passages we'll explore together — follow along in your copy.
① Chapter 6 — values as qualities of action: freely chosen, ongoing, a direction rather than a destination  pp. 105–108
② Chapter 6 — the values-writing research: students who wrote briefly about a core value showed lasting gains  pp. 109–110
2
(discussion) Where in your life are you living someone else's “should” instead of your own “why”?
LAB A · VALUES CLARIFICATION18 min
3
Using the chapter's values questions and list  pp. 105–108: circle every value that resonates, narrow to your top 5, then choose 2–3 core values.
4
Test each: Deep down, does this matter to me? Is it freely chosen — a direction I want to move in — or an inherited rule? When I live it, do I feel most like myself?
My 2–3 core values:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 3 · Walking Your Why · 1 of 2
SESSION 3 · CONTINUED

Values in Action

From naming a value to walking it.
LAB B · VALUES-IN-ACTION WRITING20 min
Lead-in  pp. 109–110. Ten minutes of writing about why a value matters — and when it has guided you — broadens identity, so no single setback defines the whole self.
5
Write for 10 minutes: Why does one core value matter to you? Describe a specific time you lived it — and a recent time you drifted from it.
6
Pairs: Share only what you choose. Your partner asks one question: “What would this value have you do next week?”
LAB C · CHOICE POINTS: TOWARD OR AWAY12 min
Lead-in  pp. 111–117. Every fork in the road asks the same quiet question: does this move me toward the person I want to be, or away — am I serving a value, or escaping discomfort?
7
Identify one upcoming fork-in-the-road moment — a conversation, invitation, or task. Name the toward-value move and the away-from-value move. Circle your intention.
My choice point this week — toward move vs. away move:
CLOSE · INTEGRATION & HOME PRACTICE10 min
This week's practice. ① One small values-aligned action daily — tiny counts. ② Optional: each night, write one line answering “What did I do today that was actually worth my time?” p. 107 ③ Read Chapters 7–8 and the Conclusion.
What I want to remember from tonight:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 3 · Walking Your Why · 2 of 2
SESSION 4 · CHAPTERS 7–8 + CONCLUSION · 90 MINUTES

Moving On

Tiny tweaks, the teeter-totter principle, and becoming real.
OPEN · CHECK-IN12 min
1
Report-backs: What was your smallest values-aligned action this week — and what did it set in motion?
ANCHOR · PASSAGES & DISCUSSION15 min
Passages we'll explore together — follow along in your copy.
① Chapter 7 — have-to motivation (obligation, avoiding shame) versus want-to motivation (choice, meaning) — and why want-to goals endure  pp. 128–131
② Chapter 8 — the teeter-totter: living at the edge of your ability, balanced between coasting and overwhelm  pp. ~152–168
③ Conclusion — the Velveteen Rabbit passage on becoming real through being fully lived-in  pp. ~223–228
LAB A · HAVE-TO → WANT-TO12 min
Lead-in  pp. 128–131. “I have to exercise” becomes “I want to care for my health and energy” — when that is honest. If no genuine want-to exists, the commitment itself may deserve reconsideration.
2
Write one goal you keep framing as a have to. Rewrite it as a want to by connecting it to a core value from Session 3.
Have-to version → Want-to version:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 4 · Moving On · 1 of 3
SESSION 4 · CONTINUED

Design One Tiny Tweak

Make the values-aligned choice the easiest available choice.
LAB B · DESIGN ONE TINY TWEAK18 min
Lead-in  pp. 134–138. Four tweak tools from the chapter: environmental design (remove or relocate the cue that pulls you off course), piggybacking (“after I do X, I will do Y”), if-then precommitment, and mental contrasting — picture the obstacle, then decide your response in advance.
3
Choose one micro-habit that serves your want-to goal — two minutes or less to do.
4
Design it: What in your environment can you remove, prepare, or make visible? Then piggyback it: “After I [existing routine], I will [new micro-habit].”
5
Premeditate the obstacle: “If [likely obstacle], then I will [planned response].”
6
Pairs: Say your if-then plan aloud; your partner stress-tests it: “What actually happens on your worst Tuesday?”
My tweak — after I… / if… then I will…
LAB C · YOUR GROWTH EDGE12 min
7
Map yourself on the teeter-totter: Where are you coasting (over-competent)? Where are you overwhelmed (over-challenged)? Choose one courageous stretch that puts you at the edge — not over it.
My one courageous stretch:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 4 · Moving On · 2 of 3
SESSION 4 · CLOSING

Compassionate Accountability & Becoming Real

Taking responsibility without turning an event into a verdict on the whole self.
LAB D · THE INNER CRITIC, REVISITED10 min
Lead-in — a Session 1 callback  pp. 63–68. Two distinctions from the self-compassion chapter:
① Guilt vs. shame — “I did something wrong” supports repair; “I am fundamentally bad” fuels avoidance.
② The inner critic's labels — “I'm a fraud” vs. the accurate version: “I didn't make it this time, and I'm still learning.”
8
Bring to mind one thing from this series you still criticize yourself for. Ask: What did I actually do or fail to do? Is repair needed? What would I say to a close friend in the same position — and what would that same warmth and honesty sound like directed at myself?
CLOSE · BECOMING REAL11 min
9
Closing round: one thing you're taking with you, and one commitment for the next 30 days.
My 30-day commitment:
10
Together we'll decide: continue as a peer practice pod, or close with gratitude.
A see-saw balancing a stone on the low end and a growing sprout on the high end, at sunrise
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabSession 4 · Moving On · 3 of 3
APPENDIX A

Weekly Practice Tracker

Check off days you practiced. Aim for most days, not perfect days.
Week 1 · Showing Up
Daily granular emotion label
☐ M  ☐ T  ☐ W  ☐ Th  ☐ F  ☐ Sa  ☐ Su
Hooks I noticed: ______________________
Week 2 · Stepping Out
Daily “I'm noticing the thought that…”
☐ M  ☐ T  ☐ W  ☐ Th  ☐ F  ☐ Sa  ☐ Su
Stepping-out tool I tried: ______________
Week 3 · Walking Your Why
Daily small values-aligned action
☐ M  ☐ T  ☐ W  ☐ Th  ☐ F  ☐ Sa  ☐ Su
My core values: ______________________
Week 4 · Moving On
Tiny-tweak habit, done after: ___________
☐ M  ☐ T  ☐ W  ☐ Th  ☐ F  ☐ Sa  ☐ Su
If ______________, then I will ______________
NOTES ACROSS THE FOUR WEEKS
Patterns I'm noticing:
What's getting easier:
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabAppendix A · Practice Tracker
APPENDIX B

Resources & Notes

Further study, and a note on this group.
FURTHER RESOURCES
Free Emotional Agility quiz — susandavid.com/learn. A short quiz generating a personalized report. Recommended before Session 1 and again after Session 4 to see your shift.
Susan David's TED Talk — “The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage” — a strong companion to Chapters 1–4.
Going deeper on expressive writing — James Pennebaker, Expressive Writing: Words That Heal — the research behind Session 1's writing lab.
Emotions word list — an emotions wheel or granular feelings vocabulary supports the Week 1 labeling practice.
ABOUT PAGE REFERENCES
Page references follow the edition used in our exercise inventory. Print editions vary — expect a difference of roughly ten pages either way. Ranges marked with ~ are approximate landmarks; the chapter reference is always the reliable guide.
A NOTE ON THIS GROUP
The Growth Lab is a study and implementation group, not group therapy. If material from any session stirs up more than you want to carry alone, please reach out to the facilitator or a mental health professional for individual support. Scholarships for participation are available — just ask.
Attribution. This workbook is an original facilitation guide built around Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David, PhD (Avery, 2016). All participants purchase and read their own copy; exercises reference the book rather than reproduce it.
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabAppendix B · Resources & Notes
APPENDIX C · FACILITATOR REFERENCE

Exercise Inventory from the Book · 1–11

Every exercise Susan David describes, indexed with page landmarks. Some appear in our sessions; the rest are options for follow-up cohorts.
1Fact vs. story (brain-bouncing) — Sort reactions into fact, opinion, comparison, worry, and judgment; watch an observation become a hook.  pp. 22–24
2Showing up — Deliberately name and make space for difficult emotions rather than avoiding them.  p. ~61
3Self-kindness rating — 0–10: how consistently do I treat myself with warmth when I struggle?  p. 62
4Meeting the child you were — Visualize comforting your child self; extend that same compassion to your adult self.  pp. 62–63
5Guilt vs. shame — “I did something wrong” (repairable) vs. “I am bad” (paralyzing); accountability without verdicts.  pp. 63–65
6Inner critic → compassionate response — What would I say to a friend here — and what would that warmth sound like toward myself?  pp. 66–68
7Recurring hooks inventory — Situation → thought → emotion → old story → urge → toward or away?  Ch. 2–4
8Expressive writing (Pennebaker) — ~20 min/day for several days; private, uncensored; from naming toward perspective.  pp. 78–82
9Naming the thought & emotion — “I'm having the thought that…” / “I'm noticing I'm feeling…” — distance without disputing.  pp. 91–92
10Sticky-note fear exercise — Wear your feared self-label; introduce yourself with it; watch its authority drain.  p. 91
11Word repetition & defusion — Repeat the troubling phrase until it becomes sound, not verdict.  pp. 91–92
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabAppendix C · Exercise Inventory · 1 of 2
APPENDIX C · FACILITATOR REFERENCE

Exercise Inventory from the Book · 12–22

Continued.
12Six stepping-out techniques — Process language, holding contradictions, humor, perspective shift, calling it out, third-person self-talk.  pp. 93–94
13Identifying personal values — Deep down, what matters to me? When do I feel most like myself? What would I pursue without anxiety?  pp. 105–108
14Values applied to a role — What do I want observed when I'm in this role — and where is the gap?  pp. 106–107
15Nightly “worth my time” question — Each night: what did I do today that was actually worth my time? Review for patterns.  p. 107
16“Last day on earth” question — If this were my last day, how would I act to make it a great final one?  p. 107
17Values affirmation writing — Ten minutes on why a value matters and when it guided you — before a stressful challenge.  pp. 109–110
18Toward and away moves — Is this action serving a value, or escaping discomfort? What's one small toward move now?  pp. 111–117
19Have-to vs. want-to — Locate the chosen value beneath the obligation — or discover the commitment needs rethinking.  pp. 128–131
20Tiny-tweak environmental design — Remove, relocate, prepare, simplify — make the desired choice the easiest choice.  pp. 134–135
21Piggybacking a behavior — “After I do X, I will do Y” — the existing habit becomes the cue.  pp. 135–136
22If-then precommitment — Decide the response before the trigger: “If X occurs, then I will Y.”  pp. 136–137
23Mental contrasting (obstacle course) — Picture the goal, then the exact moment the obstacle appears — and your planned response.  pp. 137–138
The Growth Lab · traumafocusedtherapy.com/growthlabAppendix C · Exercise Inventory · 2 of 2